


Memoirs of a Fujoshi

by nightshade_19



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, POV First Person, Self-Indulgent, fujoshi!Kiyoko, i am trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7599994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightshade_19/pseuds/nightshade_19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why exactly did Kiyoko-san become the manager of the volleyball club? What is she always writing on that clipboard of hers?<br/>My personal hc for fujoshi!Kiyoko</p><p>EDIT: Now a continuing series in which we explore the many ships of Haikyuu from the perspective of fujoshi!Kiyoko :D</p><p>UPDATES ON MONDAYS!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Original One-Shot

                I wake up every morning with the sun, reaching for my phone right away to check my feeds. It looks like Nakamura-sensei’s new volume is being released today, I’ll have to stop by the store on my way home from school. I shower quickly, pulling on my school uniform, brushing my hair until it shines and placing my glasses firmly on my face, making sure to get them perfectly straight.

                Grabbing an apple on my way out, I take great crunchy bites, taking care not to let the sticky juice run down my face. It’s not that far to school and by the time I get there the gym is already unlocked and judging by the noise coming from inside at least half the team is already here. Leaving my bag at the door, I walk in, clipboard and pen in hand and wait for what happens every morning.

                “Kiyoko-san!” Nishinoya and Tanaka cry, half-prostrating themselves at my feet as I stand there. At first their unwanted and unwarranted attentions made me uncomfortable, but over time I’ve come to get used to it and it doesn’t phase me as much anymore.

                “Good morning,” I murmur quietly, trying not to smile at their exaggerated reaction, it’s been about a week since I last greeted them so they are quite excited.

                “Kiyoko-san greeted us!” Tanaka swoons against Nishinoya, who holds him up while professing sentiments of his own. The way Nishinoya holds Tanaka’s hips, the way Tanaka swoons against the smaller boy, face blushing slightly. It is wonderful.

                I first joined the volleyball club as it’s manager back in first year, something to put on my university applications that didn't look like it would take much effort. I wasn’t particularly interested in it. It didn’t take me long however to realise that the position came with certain... perks. Every morning and every afternoon I have the opportunity to watch these boys unquestioned, as they leap, and stretch, and high five, and hug, and kiss... Maybe the last one still remains a part of my imagination, but I quietly suspect that is more to do with me not observing it rather than it not happening.

                I have watched these boys for a while now, and have noticed that they seem much closer than one might initially expect. Daichi and Suga, I have watched those two for the longest, having joined the club at roughly the same time. They have always been close, even from their first year, and their positions of captain and vice captain have only made them closer. They meet regularly to discuss the team and strategies, sometimes I am invited, but other times not. I wonder often what happens at these meetings when I am absent, as little progress ever seems to come from them. How can I help but wonder when they look at each other the way they do. I cannot tell whether it is affection for each other in their silent gazes, or an animalistic lust. I like to this it is both.

                Nishinoya is a slippery individual, whom I cannot quite pin down. Some days I am convinced that he and Asahi are meant to be, what other reason could they have fought so bitterly over his leaving the team. Even now, the libero is the first to comfort the ace whenever he begins to feel inadequate or anxious again. And yet other days, like today, he will roll around on the floor with a shirtless Tanaka. How should I interpret this, am I wrong about him and Asahi? Perhaps Tanaka is merely Nishinoya’s mistress, one which Asahi is either oblivious to, or allows him to keep. Perhaps the ace joins them from time to time.

                My pen scratches furiously across the paper I hold in front of me, illustrating the images of sweaty flesh and tangled limbs that flash through my mind. When I look down I find my pen is not fast nor agile enough to properly illustrate my dreams, but it is good enough for a first sketch. Perhaps I will return to it later, at home when I won’t have to keep an eye over my shoulder lest someone see. Luckily I do, for Hinata dashes past me, an orange blur.

                He is another I once paired with the flirtatious libero, constantly asking his assistance, his liberal usage of ‘senpai’, and Nishinoya’s obvious reaction to it, a sinful blessing. It was a briefly lived fantasy however, for surely the scowling setter has his eyes set in the decoy and would hardly be willing to share. Their quick is clearly astounding, even to me, what explanation is their for their natural synchronicity other than a matching partnership off the court. They compete in everything they do, never willing to let the other have the upper hand. I wonder who has the ‘upper hand’ in their more private competitions?

                But alas they are interrupted by the tall one – Tsukishima. He and Yamaguchi aren’t even subtle. If they aren’t going at it behind closed doors then I’ll marry Tanaka – hell, I’m surprised they’re not going at it, closed doors or not. Yamaguchi looks at him with such devotion, I wonder what Tsukishima does to earn it? Is it with a hidden romantic side, treating the boy like a prince when they’re alone, or is it a more base side that gives him his appeal?

                Ah, but before I can ponder for any longer, the mysteries of Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, classes have started and the boys are leaving. I slip my sketches into my bag, with the rest of them bundled up in an art folder. I say good bye to Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei (yet another couple to ponder later) and make my way to class, eager for the school day to be over and for afternoon practice to begin.


	2. Kiyoko's Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone,
> 
> So wow, a lot of you really seemed to like this idea, so I'm going to run with it. I figured, this would be the idea:

                I lately find I have become muddled. My sketches lie unfinished, scattered across my desk, many no more than rough outlines that I can’t even tell who they were meant to be. My notes are disorganised, jumping from one observation to another, making it difficult to distil a coherent string of ideas from them. This has to stop, I am trying to do too many things at once, concerned that I will miss something if I look away from any specific person for too long, but this is a risk I will have to take.

                I have decided to limit myself to a single idea – one concept, one couple – for a single week. Hopefully by absorbing myself completely, I will be able to notice all the tiny details that eluded me before, perhaps I will learn new things about what exactly those boys do when I’m not there to watch them. The only question is, who shall be my first subject?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Who do you guys want to be her first focus? It can be a specific ship, or a specific character. I'm thinking it should probably be one of the ones mentioned in the original though, we might delve into rare pairs (or more likely the other teams) later. So either comment below, or message me or whatever on tumblr with your ideas :D
> 
> http://nightshade--19.tumblr.com/


	3. DaiSuga / TsukiNoya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone,
> 
> So it looks like DaiSuga won first, but I also threw in a bonus TsukiNoya because moonbabe suggested it and... it just came to me.  
> I'm still working on the style/format a bit, but I definitely think I like the idea of a main ship, and then maybe the occasional bonus rare pair moment at the end. Keep up the suggestions for the next one, the next most popular one last time was KageHina, so it'll probably be that unless there's overwhelming support for another one. I'm definitely going to do all the main Karasuno ships, then possibly expanding to other schools. Also, we can definitely revisit a ship if there is the demand for it. This wasn't particularly long I know, so if say in future people want to have another DaiSuga, don't be afraid to suggest it.
> 
> Sorry for rambling, I hope you know enjoy the ramblings of Kiyoko :D
> 
> nightshade

                Best to start out easy I guess. I’ve known Daichi and Suga a long time, most of high school, and the two have been practically inseparable. I don’t think they notice the knowing glances they’ll occasionally throw one another, both on and off the court. It’s as if they can speak to each other without words – ahhh, their love is so pure.

                Or rather, that is what I used to think. Last year when the three of us were studying for the end of year exams, Suga had left his laptop at my place after having to leave in a rush and the temptation was too strong. Plus, his password was ‘volleyball’ – he was practically asking me to take a look. In my time as a fujoshi, I have seen and heard many things, but I was not prepared for Suga’s browser history. I still blush when I think about it, although it did inspire many a sketch of mine.

                Today is another such study session, at the library this time, today I’m helping them with English. Sugawara is relatively good at English, he is mostly just there to review the work, Daichi is the real problem when it comes to the subject. Thankfully, English happens to be one of my nest subjects, so I was delegated the role of tutor this time, a position I plan to abuse.

                The three of us are sat at a small table in the library, Suga has gone to find a dictionary among the shelves, so I decide to start with my plan.

                “Daichi,” I ask, getting the boy’s attention, “I thought perhaps we’d start with some reading, and pronunciation. I found some old poems I wrote for an English assignment in first year when I was cleaning out some of my old stuff, and figured that it would be useful review material,”

                “Okay,” Daichi agrees easily, figuring that I probably know what I’m talking about. He takes the piece of paper, Sugawara coming back to the table, book in hand. I couldn’t have timed it better if I tried.

                “Sugar,” Daichi starts, his reading slow and methodical, trying to concentrate on enunciating each word properly, “I love sugar. I guess everyone does, but I think I love sugar the most,” Sugawara is looking at Daichi with an odd expression, the captain oblivious to his friend’s reaction, to absorbed in his reading.

                “Sugar is so sweet on my... tonj... tongue. I wish everything tasted like sugar. Some people might get bored of nothing but sugar, but I think I would be happy with nothing but sugar for the rest of my life,” Daichi finished reading the poem, a slight look of accomplishment on his face, happy that he read the whole thing with relatively little error.

                “Good job Daichi,” I congratulate him, trying not to smile to much as I turn to Suga, “What did you think Suga, any comments?”

                “N-*ahem* No,” Suga stutters, the tips of his ears red.

                “Do you want a try to Suga?” I offer, pulling out another piece of paper, “I have another poem from second year. It was when I was really into tai chi,”

                “N-no, I think I’m fine thanks, Kiyoko,” he stammers, turning to stare intently at the notes in front of him for the next ten minutes without moving. I struggle not to giggle as the red flush creeps from his ears, down the back of his neck as time goes on – just what are you thinking about Suga, it was just a poem about a poor girl and her insatiable sweet tooth?

 

                *** BONUS ***

 

                I watch Daichi and Suga talking intently to each other in the corner of the gym, looking intently at something on a clipboard. It is positioned right in front of their faces... they could be kissing right now and no one would know...

                Noise from the other side of the court is distracting me – and things were going so well. I turn, sighing, to see what is causing the ruckus, unsurprised to see the team’s resident playboy Nishinoya is at the centre of it all. What is perhaps surprising is the other participant – Tsukishima. Apparently the blond has made some kind of joke about the libero’s height, and he has responded predictably. (Don’t worry Nishinoya, we all not size doesn’t necessarily equal... _size_ )

                The libero jumps up to snatch the first year’s glasses, parading around with them on while talking in a satirical manner, deftly dodging the other boy’s attempts to retrieve his glasses. (Nishinoya in glasses. Remember for later.) As Tsukishima corners the boys, he grins, thinking he’s won. In an act of spite, Nishinoya rips the glasses of his face and shoves them down the front of his pants.

                “Why don’t you come and get them then?” I hear him mock from across the court. There is an awkward moment where Nishinoya stands with a smug look on his face, which suddenly drops as Tsukishima takes a step forward. _No... NO!_ I think in disbelief, _Is no one else seeing this?!_

                Tsukishima steps forward again before shamelessly shoving his hand down the front of Nishinoya’s pants, pulling his glasses out a moment later before walking off, muttering about needing to find something to disinfect them with. Meanwhile Nishinoya stands there, face red, clearly not having expected Tsukishima to call his bluff.

                My mind kicks into overdrive, all thoughts of Daichi and Suga swept to the back of my head. Did Nishinoya shove them down his pants – but they’re so loose, did he shove them down his underpants?! What exactly did Tsukishima feel while he was rummaging around in there?! Will Nishinoya think about that, later tonight – the feeling of Tsukishima’s hands down his pants, touching him in the middle of the busy gym where anyone could see? I... I... I think I need to lay down a moment...


	4. KageHina / NoyaHina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I even doing with my life?
> 
> Here is the latest instalment of my fujoshi!Kiyoko hc, sorry it's been a while.  
> On the plus side, I am now happy to say this fic will be regularly updated every Monday! Yay!(?)
> 
> This chapter features KageHina, with NoyaHina being the rare pair bonus. As always, leave suggestions in the comments below (especially for rare pairs) or else I'll just come up with whatever the hell I want :P  
> Hope you enjoy,
> 
> nightshade

                “Give it Bakageyama!”

                “No, get off me!”

                “Come on, just a mouthful!” I could hear the sounds of a scuffle coming from around the corner. I was pretty sure that was Hinata and Kageyama arguing again, _Despite all their arguing, they still spend all their time together though..._

                “You always hog it, just give me some of your milk!” Hinata whined, freezing me in my tracks. I shuffled a bit closer to the corner, looking around quickly to make sure I wouldn’t be seen suspiciously lurking around the school, “If it’s so good, just give me a taste,”

                I clutch my books to my chest, blushing slightly as my mind begins to conjure images of what I might see should I peek around the corner. _Hinata_ , I scolded, _In a public area, in broad daylight – do you want Kageyama’s ‘milk’ that badly I wonder?_ Before I can get lost in my own thoughts, I harden my resolve and try to listen carefully, desperate to hear whatever is going to follow.

                “Fine,” Kageyama humphed, barely audible now that they’d stopped yelling at each other. “Just hurry up, I haven’t got all day,” I lean as flat against the wall as I can, edging closer to the corner as I strain my ears in the hopes of hearing what’s happening. No matter how hard I try however, I can’t hear anything other than Hinata softly humming away to himself and Kageyama’s impatient huffing.

                I consider turning the corner to see what is happening, fearing that I’ll miss my chance if I wait any longer. Just before I turn the corner, already braced for what I might see, I hear an exclamation from Kageyama.

                “All right already, you’ve had enough!” he grumbles in an annoyed tone.

                “Don’t be so stingy, Kageyama!” Hinata retorts, the sound of scuffling can be heard again.

                “Let go of it, you’re gonna get it everywhere!”

                “Then just let me finish it, there’s not much left now anyway!”

                “That’s not the problem!” The scuffle continues until Kageyama elicits a short yelp, “Look what you’ve done – I told you!”

                “Eh? It was your fault anyway, you should have just let me have it,” Hinata countered defensively. My patience has run out, and my imagination has run wild. I have to see.

                I turn the corner to find the two boys standing next to the vending machines, arguing with each other. They take a moment to spot me there.

                “Oh, um, hello Kiyoko-san,” Hinata greets, bowing slightly and pushing Kageyama slightly, reminding him to greet me as well.

                “Hello, Kiyoko-san,” he grumbles somewhat halfheartedly.

                “Hi boys,” I reply quietly, eyes suddenly being drawn to the small wet patch on the front of Kageyama’s pants. The two clearly see my eyes widen at the sight, and Hinata starts laughing.

                “Pfftt, it looks like you wet yourself Bakageyama!” he snorts, Kageyama’s face turning red.

                “It’s not what it looks like!” he stutters, pointing a finger at the snickering boy next to him, “That dumbass stole my milk and then spilt it all over me!” I just smile slightly as Hinata continues to giggle to himself, Kageyama still looking flustered.

                “I have a spare key to the club room,” I offer quietly, “You can change there if you want,”

                “Uh, thank you , Kiyoko-san,” Kageyama bows slightly again, taking the spare key from my outstretched hand, rushing off to the club room and leaving the snickering Hinata behind. After getting Hinata to promise that he’ll get Kageyama to return the key at practice, I rush off to my next class.

                It’s halfway through my class that it suddenly hits me. I bolt upright, everyone in the room immediately staring at me. I awkwardly apologise to the teacher, giving some lame excuse about a leg cramp, before sitting back down. My mind is going a hundred miles a minute as I replay every second that I saw they two first years earlier. _Neither one was holding a milk box._ I spend the rest of the class, agitated and itching to get to practice. It looks like I’ve got a new target to investigate...

 

                ***BONUS***

 

                I’ve spent the past two days watching Hinata and Kageyama intently, waiting for something else to happen. So far nothing out of the ordinary (although even their ordinary interactions set off my fujoshi senses), but today something might be happening. I watch as Hinata walks away from Kageyama, the first time he’s done so all practice. What is he doing? Where is he going? Should I follow him, or stay and watch Kageyama?

                I decide to follow Hinata, Kageyama’s hardly likely to do anything with everyone else standing around in the gym, besides, Hinata is acting much more suspiciously. I watch him enter the club room from below, looking up and down the walkway before closing the door behind him. _What is going on here?_ It isn’t long before my question is answered.

                Nishinoya strides along the walkway, slipping inside the club room as well. _Nishinoya, I should have guessed_ , I think to myself, quickly scaling the stairs, trying not to make any noise as I approach, _Is there anyone that boy_ isn’t _banging? I swear to God..._

                I wait outside the door, not going in, instead just standing there, trying to keep my breathing shallow as I try and listen to what’s happening inside.

                “Nishinoya-senpai! It’s so big!”

                I swear, my nose almost started haemorrhaging then and there. Luckily I managed to hold it together, but noised coming from the stairwell told me that the others were now coming. I quickly skipped back a bit, to pretend as if I had just come from the other end of the building, smiling slightly as I walked past the others as they started to go into the club room. They didn’t seem to make any commotion, so it seems like Hinata and Nishinoya heard them all coming and were able to clam up before they arrived. Either that, or the whole team was currently having an orgy. Knowing Nishinoya is involved, it’s probably a fifty-fifty chance either way.


	5. TsukkiYama/UkaTake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are people even still reading this? Why?  
> Like, this is just me now, I am totally just projecting onto Kiyoko.  
> On the plus side, I think there's plot now, or at least the start of it? I don't know why, it's not like people read this for the gripping plot but, oh well.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and give suggestions for other ships, rare or not. The next chapter will still be Karasuno-only, but after that we'll have other teams and cross-teams as options as well : )
> 
> nightshade

                I looked back across the gym, noting the way that a droplet of sweat rolled down his long pale neck, soon wiped away with a towel by the smiling Yamaguchi. Looking back at my clipboard I continued sketching away, fluid sweeping lines denoting the curve of Tsukishima’s neck, again with a single bead of sweat. And again Yamaguchi was wiping it away, albeit this time with his tongue seductively striping up the boys neck from his position behind, pushing the taller boy down as he arched back.

                “Kiyoko-san?” a voice inquired gently, jolting as I look up to see Takeda-sensei standing in front of me. I could already feel an embarrassed blush creeping up my neck, even though I was certain he hadn’t seen my drawing before I’d reflexively clutched the clipboard to my chest.

                “Yes, Takeda-sensei?” I replied softly, not sure what the man wanted, or if he could see my burning ears hidden beneath my hair.

                “I was just wondering if you would be interested in attending our team meeting this afternoon after practice. Ukai-san, Sawamura-kun, Sugawara-kun and myself were staying behind to discuss the upcoming camp and I thought you might have some useful things to say as the team manager,” he explained, smiling his normal beaming grin. The same one he no doubt used to disarm the other coaches during his negotiations with them for the practice matches with other teams. _I wonder if that was the only thing you had to do?_ I wonder salaciously, before catching myself and answering his question.

                “Of course Takeda-sensei, if you think I’d be helpful,”

                “I’m sure you will be,” he grins, walking back over towards the coach, waving as he goes. I turn back to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, but unfortunately they’ve already left to get changed for class. I guess I’ll have to finish my sketch later.

                At first I’d barely even paid much attention to the two first years, they were _so_ obvious it hardly even seemed fun imagining them together. Hell, what imagining, they were together. They ate lunch together, talked pretty much exclusively to each other, they walked home together (it’s only an assumption that they even live in separate houses – we don’t know for sure!). Where’s the fun in that. But then, the _incident_ happened.

                It had been after practice one day, the rest of the team had finished clearing up and had gone to get changed. I had gone to the storage closet to do a quick inventory (I do have some actual duties as manager, besides staring at a bunch of gay-for-each-other boys all day), but stopped when I heard noise coming from within. I quickly recognised Yamaguchi’s voice, saying something to presumably Tsukishima. Intending to eavesdrop on what was potentially an intimate moment (alone together in a closet after practice, you can’t make this stuff up), I was alarmed to suddenly hear a crash.

                Unsure what was happening I opened the door to see Yamaguchi on all fours, Tsukishima underneath him, and an overturned cart of volleyballs, contents now rolling around everywhere. It took me a second before I rushed into to help, making sure they weren’t hurt, unable to get the image out of my head. Yamaguchi... on _top_? Needless to say, that weekend was full of sinful fantasies and even more sinful sketching. Since then I have found them infinitely more fascinating, and I am honestly surprised I did not initially peg Tsukishima the uke and Yamaguchi the seme, it seems so obvious in hindsight.

                I manage to see them at lunch, almost laughing when I see Yamaguchi wiping a smear of strawberry icing off of Tsukishima’s cheek with his thumb, the taller boy scowling the whole time but not making any move to stop him. Yamaguchi hardly seems to notice he’s even doing it, still prattling away about whatever it he’s talking about, absently sticking the thumb in his mouth to suck of the icing before continuing, neither seeming to take notice of the act. _If they’re not doing_ something _behind closed doors, then I’ll go on a date with Tanaka_ , I think to myself, continuing on my way to class and wondering what else Yamaguchi wipes off Tsukishima’s cheeks.

 

                ***BONUS***

 

                The meeting with the coach, Takeda-sensei and the captain and vice-captain is not particularly interesting. To be honest I wish I hadn’t agreed to come – Daichi and Suga aren’t even sitting next to each other, they’re on opposite sides of the table. For some reason the meeting is in Takeda’s classroom, his papers still clumsily piled on the side of his desk to make room for Ukai’s notes.

                As the meeting starts to reach an end though, my interest is piqued when Ukai, standing behind the seated Takeda-sensei, leans down over him to underline something on the notes in front of him, turning to look him in the face for a moment once he’s done so, quickly retreating when he realises what close proximity their faces are to each other. These two definitely aren’t banging, but they probably should be. It’s interesting to think about, I’m so used to dealing with high schoolers, I wonder how those two would work, both adults with jobs and lives outside of volleyball and school.

                The more I think about it, the more I realise it wouldn’t be that hard for them to meet without my knowledge – they could already be together and I would never know. It’s not like they’d be liable to inform anyone at school, let alone the team, of that fact. Hmmm, Takeda-sensei never did tell us how he managed to convince Ukai to coach the team.

                Those two stay behind a little later, telling us three that we should get going already and that the school will probably close soon. I reluctantly leave with Daichi and Suga, those two chatting about what had been discussed during the meeting, while I hung behind them, imagining what Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei were getting up to alone in that classroom, now that us meddling students were gone. I say goodbye to Suga and Daichi at the school gates, rushing home to start a new sketch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr if you want (http://nightshade--19.tumblr.com/)  
> Also, if you for some reason feel like illustrating any of Kiyoko's fantasies - OMG that would be amazing, please send them to me, they could literally just be stick figures, I don't even care <3


End file.
